Image Credit: Lilith, 1991 - Linda Falorio
This week, my intention was to post the podcast called, “The Three Liliths and the Lilith Corridor” but it didn’t quite go off that way.
If I had created it as I intended, it would have been a podcast explaining Lilith energy and where it can be found in your astrological chart. But that is not what wanted to come through. In fact, i had no idea that when I chose Lilith as the Goddess of the Month on the blog that I’d be yielding so much to what is.
Lilith is the goddess of the Wild Feminine, and in Hebrew mythology, Adam’s first wife who was cast out of the Garden of Eden when she refused to be subservient to him.
In archetypal psychology, Lilith is known as the shadow feminine, those rejected parts of self that are, for whatever reason, hard to acknowledge. And this is also what she represents in astrology, however she is associated with a number of different aspects, bodies and theoretical concepts, truly making her one of the misunderstood Goddess archetypes to work with.
Because there are so many ways to work with her, you just don’t know where the lessons will play out. For instance, the Blackmoon on September 30 is associated with Lilith, which opened an energetic portal to accessing that Lilith energy.
Concurrently, Dark Moon Lilith (wild feminine) was conjunct Venus (beautiful feminine) in Scorpio (secrets, sex, money and death) all week last week. This is the perfect combination for exposing shameful secrets and I still can’t get over the fact that these two archetypes were exact in Scorpio the day the Trump Tapes leaked.
I, like many women were, was triggered by the events around the Trump Tapes. After listening to the constant barrage of “news” stories about it, I found myself feeling anxious, afraid and ashamed. It was a feeling I recognized all too well, because I had spent most of my life trying to subvert it.
This time it took me by surprise, though, because after years of therapy to work through PTSD symptoms, I had forgotten how your solar plexus tightens up and you are constantly on edge. I noticed my shoulders curving forward, concave around my heart (an unconscious response to energetically protect the heart chakra.)
My breath was shallow and I paced back and forth. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to eat or drink or both. I’d try to calm down by reading a book and staying off of social media, but I’d flip back and forth between the two unable to focus on either.
I sat with the feeling, listening deeply to what was welling up inside of me. And then I realized what it was...the reason I was triggered was because my attacker was never brought to justice.
My experience was brushed under the rug by those who could have (and should have) made a difference. They made my attacker apologize to me, promise he’d never do it again. And that (according to them) was good enough.
It left me numb for the longest time, and I wouldn’t actually seek therapy for this until nine years later, after I was an adult and mother of three.
But the lesson was clear -- don’t bother speaking up at any injustice, because nothing would be done about it. So, I had been violated and my basic needs were left unmet by the people and institutions who were supposed to be there for me.
What was being triggered here was the feeling of being unseen, unheard. Completely diminished.
So when this man on the current political scene so haughtily denounced his "braggadocious" accounts of sexually assaulting women as mere “locker room” talk, his fake apologies landing with a loud thud at your feet, you see him as the poster boy for every sexual predator everywhere.
I had heard these words before, felt the energy behind them (“I’m sorry because I got caught.”)
I had witnessed before how “they” all tried to minimize his egregious acts of disrespect.
But now, the time to remain silent was over.
I was compelled to share the details of my story very publicly for the first time. I didn’t realize that in doing so, it would move me, inch by inch, little by little, closer and closer to the raw truth of who I am.
And then it dawned on me. “This. This is why I do what I do.”
I thought I knew all along -- I thought it was because I simply wanted to “help women be more of who they are.”
Which is true! But in order to do, I must first be. I believe my purpose has always been to midwife an awakening of higher potential--I just didn’t, couldn’t, know it was going to be in this way.
I didn’t understand when, all those years ago at the very first "The Goddess Diaries" intensive journaling event that I was in touch with my inner Lilith, or that she would lead me on this wild path (from manifesting with the moon to healing with yoni eggs to goddess stories). These creations are part of my healing journey, and they are all resources that have helped me reclaim, bit by bit, my Sacred Self and be more of who I am.
And the offerings I share here are my humble contributions to help women also be more of who they are.
I hope you listen to the podcast to find out how this Lilith Corridor is open to everyone right now, if you dare enter.